The Grinch or Scrooge has infected most of us and we had a lot of grumps (including me) putting up the Christmas tree and decorating. I finally had to say, only happy people get presents, I guess no presents for me! LOL! I am glad we spent time as a family doing something together, time is slipping by so very quickly. I can't believe how grown up the kids are and how short a time we have left with them in the house. My goal is to love them and spend time with them, as much as possible. Spending time as a family is precious and our number one goal. Hopefully, we can talk our kids into it more.

My old facebook account was hacked into, so now I have two accounts!

The kids are all doing very well in school. The girls are in dance companies and are busy Tuesday's and Thursday's dancing and getting ready for the festival of trees. They will be performing on December 4th. Riley is bored most of the time and complains that he has nothing to do.

Jon is busy with work. I am busy trying to keep the house clean, so we can sell it and I am looking for a job. I would like to clean houses, since I am very confidant about my cleaning skills and know that I would do a great job and I could have a flexible schedule. I now need to learn how to market myself and get clients. We down sized our cars; Jon traded his truck in for a Honda civic that runs on natural gas and I traded my beautiful Seqouia in for an Acura MDX. Trying to find some calm, within the storm of change. Wish me luck!

My facebook account has been disabled and I am at a loss as to why, we are looking into it.

This year has been the hardest year of my life! I have been devastated many times and didn't deal well with it, so I had to take a really hard look at myself and be brutal about the things I don't like and want to change. Unfortunately, I have to look at why I am the way I am, so that I can change negative feelings/perceptions in order to change the things I don't like. I feel you have to know the why, in order to change the what. I now know the why's and am working on diffusing and changing the negative feelings that came with the why. Everyone makes mistakes that affect other people for the positive or the negative, that is not placing blame, just stating a truth. I know that I have hurt many people with many of my weaknesses and I not only want to change my weaknesses, but take responsibility for them and for the hurt I caused. I have thought that I have apologized many times for causing pain to others but find no one can ever say sorry enough when real trauma has occurred. So to those who I have caused trauma and pain, I AM SO VERY SORRY! I am in trauma and am fighting to not respond with my trauma response. If any of you have ever sought out assistance from a professional, you may know what that is, if you haven't, it is what happens when there is a traumatic event that occurs and traumatizes you and you now suffer with post traumatic stress disorder and when something triggers a trauma feeling, you respond in a trauma response..

This is from my favorite book, "The Little Soul and the Sun"

And so, the agreement was made. And the Little Soul went forth into a new lifetime, excited to be the Light, which was very special, and excited to be that part of special called Forgiveness.

And the Little Soul waited anxiously to be able to experience itself as Forgiveness, and to thank whatever other soul made it possible.

And at all the moments in that new lifetime, whenever a new soul appeared on the scene, whether that new soul brought joy or sadness--and especially if it brought sadness--the Little Soul thought of what God had said.

"Always remember," God had smiled, "I have sent you nothing but Angels."


I try to always remember that to be forgiven, I should always forgive, and even though it isn't always easy or quick, it is possible and that I should take baby steps, in the direction of forgiveness and healing. No one is perfect, especially me, and if I take my steps, eventually, I will have complete forgiveness for others and myself and a whole heart full of love, patience, compassion and especially forgiveness. Life is a journey worth enjoying!