I am reading a great book by Shakti Gawain that is validating a lot of what I feel and how I believe I should be. It is also validating my parenting style and how I feel about my children. I want to share a few quotes from this amazing book.
"I can't worry too much about how I'm presenting myself or how I look to others or whether I'm doing the right thing. I just have to be myself as I am now, as best I can, accepting the mixture of enlightened awareness and human limitation that is what I am right now."
"To be a creative channel, you just have to be real - be yourself".
"When we have suppressed and closed off our feelings, we cannot contact the universe within us, we cannot hear our intuitive voice, and we certainly can't enjoy being alive".
"When we bottle up our feeling, we close off the life energy flowing through our bodies. The energy of these unfelt, unexpressed feelings remains blocked in our bodies, causing emotional and physical discomfort and eventually illness and disease. We become numb and somewhat deadened".
"It's only by loving and accepting all parts of ourselves that we can be free and fulfilled".
"There are no such things as "negative" or "positive" feelings - we make them negative or positive by our rejection or acceptance of them. To me, all feelings are part of the wonderful, ever-changing sensation of being alive. If we love all the different feelings we experience, they become so many rainbow colors of life".
"For me, commitment in relationship needs to be based on a commitment to myself - to love, honor, obey, and cherish my own being. My commitment in relationship is to respect my own truth and do my best to honor the other person's truth as well. To anyone I love, I promise to do the best I can to be honest, to share my feelings, to take responsibility for myself, to honor the connection I feel with that person, and to maintain that connection".
"I've observed in many people the underlying attitude that children are somewhat helpless or untrustworthy and that parents are responsible for controlling and molding them into responsible beings. Children, of course, pick up on this attitude and reflect it in their behavior. If you recognize and treat them as powerful, spiritually mature, responsible beings, they will respond accordingly".
"Many parents think they have to protect their children from their (the parents') confusion or so-called negative feelings. They think that being a good parent means maintaining a certain role - always being patient, loving, wise, and strong. In fact, children need honesty - they need to see a model of a human being going through all the different feelings and moods that a human being goes through and being honest about it. This gives them permission and support to love themselves and allow themselves to be real and truthful". This quote is one of my favorites....
"Parents need to shift the focus of their responsibility from their children back to themselves, where it belongs. Remember that children learn by example. They will tend to do what you do, not what you tell them to do. The more you learn to take care of yourself and live a fulfilling, happy life, the more they will do the same.
This doesn't mean you should abandon or ignore your children. It doesn't mean that you let them do whatever they want. You are in a deep relationship with them and, like any other relationship, it takes a lot of caring and communication. It's important for all of you to express feelings, make needs known, and set clear boundaries. Furthermore, you have accepted certain responsibilities to care for them physically and financially. You have a right to require their co-responsibility and cooperation in the process.
The key is in your attitude. If you truly see your children as powerful, responsible entities and treat them as equal to you in spirit (while acknowledging that they are less experienced than you in form), they will mirror that attitude back to you".
"As they grow older, continue to include them in family decisions and responsibilities. As much as possible, allow them to make their own decisions about their personal lives. This means they may sometimes have to deal with the consequences of making certain decisions. Offer them your love, support, and advice, but let it be understood that their lives are basically their own responsibility. Be sure you set your own boundaries clearly - what is okay and what isn't. Making their own decisions does not include the right to take advantage of you. Above all, try to communicate your honest feelings to them and ask them to let you know how they are feeling. Almost all family problems arise from lack of communication. Your children certainly aren't going to know how to communicate clearly if you don't know how".
