I truly believe that knowledge and logic are of the world and compassion, faith and Love are of Heavenly Father.

Think about it, how did Lucifer get Eve to eat the fruit, with logic. Knowledge and logic can bend and deceive anything and any one can manipulate words for their own purposes. God lives in the heart of man, not the brain. I wish that more people used their hearts, more than their brains.

Being in tune with your emotions, is being closer to God. Knowledge and logic are necessary to live in this world, that was part of Gods plan, he knows they are stumbling blocks but he prays we will see them for what they are and overcome them with our hearts. Why does Heavenly Father tell us to be as little children? Are they full of knowledge and logic? No, they are guided by their hearts and how they feel and that makes them more open to God.

I have a hard time with wanting to always understand things but when I pray about why I don't, Heavenly Father tells me that we are not supposed to understand, we are here on earth to have experiences and to learn and grow from them and that is why we feel and have emotions. Those who learn to feel and process their emotions when they feel them are more open than those who stuff and deny their emotions. If we need to have understanding, we should try and understand why we feel the way we do and what makes us feel that way, so we can turn negative emotions into positive and come closer to Heavenly Father.

Most people have a hard time with their emotions and therefor stuff and hide them deep inside. They feel safe and comfortable with knowledge and logic and then wounder why they feel so empty inside, so they find someone or something to blame for their emptiness. All they have to do is step outside their safe comfort zone and get in tune with their emotions, so they can be open to Heavenly Father and the relationship he is desperately wanting to have.

I was lost for a very long time because I made the choice to try and be more logical and thoughtful/knowledgeable because I thought that was who I needed to be in order to be loved and accepted. I was questioned and criticized to death and thought this is too hard, I must change and be more like them in order to fit in. What I got was years of physical issues, mental issues (anxiety) and a deep dark despair that clouded everything around me. My true nature is love, compassion and empathy and since I have let go of the other and embraced the true me, I am anxiety free, deep dark despair free and feel hopeful and excited to see the world through my eyes, now that they are truly open.

It amazes me how many people live in denial and want too.

As human beings we make mistakes, we are not our mistakes but our mistakes are only beneficial when we repent, ask forgiveness so that we can learn and grow from them and become closer to Heavenly Father and hopefully the person/persons who were hurt by the mistake in the first place.

As a mother, I know that my mistakes are going to cause my children pain and wounds that will need to be healed. I hope and pray that my children will come to me and share with me the things I did or did not do that caused them pain, so that I can ask for forgiveness and that I can learn and grow as a spiritual being, becoming more of the woman I am truly meant to be.

I know the most important relationship we have or ever will have is with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. All our sense of self worth, sense of who we are and how we feel love, comes from the relationship we have with them. We should always seek healing, comfort and understanding from them. When we are hurt or disappointed we should take those feelings to them for healing and if the person is open we should express (in a loving way) that we were hurt and why, so that they have the chance to learn and grow.

I pray daily to be strong enough to be able to face the hurts and wounds, so they can be taken to Heavenly Father to be healed and I can finally become the woman I was meant to become. I see glimpses of her and that gives me hope.

If I have caused pain or inflicted wounds and anyone would like to share them with me, so that we can both learn and grow and hopefully be healed, please do.

I have learned that the thing women fear most is abandonment/loss and for men it is failure. I also learned that Heavenly Father created men to fail and women to experience abandonment/loss, so that they will turn to him. Heavenly Father is desperate for our love and to be our first love and he gave us free agency praying we would find our way back to him, that is why he created us perfectly to experience those things that would bring us to our knees seeking him. The journey back to them is hard and not for the faint of heart but worth every step, every breathe, every tear and broken heart.

I would go to hell and back for my family and have. Now I get to do the hardest thing and that is turn everything over to Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ and have faith in them that my family will be saved and will always be a forever family. I have to let go of everything; control, logic, holding on too tight, old hurts and wounds, expectations, longings/wants/desires and hold on to my faith with everything that I have. I pray I have the strength and patience necessary for my journey.